13 Steps To Start Over After You’ve Lost Everything

There are times in life when you need to sink to the very bottom before you can rise back up again, stronger than you were before.

Whether it is a natural disaster or your own past actions that have brought you to this moment in your life, there are steps you can take to help you rebuild your life.

Accept Help

The first step is to admit that you need help and to take it. When you are confronted with a crisis, accept help from friends and family. Don’t allow your pride to get in the way. Your family and true friends will want to do everything that they can to help you during this time. Accepting their help and support will provide you with the opportunity to focus on rebuilding your life.

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As well as practical help, such as offering temporary housing or financial help, your family and friends can also provide you with mental and emotional support to help you overcome this difficult situation. 

Be Patient With Yourself

It will take time for your situation to improve. That will be a frustrating and difficult time, but things will get better. In the meantime, you need to be patient. Progress will come, but it might take a long time. Don’t rush yourself. Instead, give yourself time. Keep focused and be patient with yourself as you learn to adjust and adapt to a new reality.

Decide To Take Action

When you feel yourself reaching your limit or the moment when you think to yourself, “I’ve had enough of this” or “I don’t want to live this anymore”, seize it! Use that raw, motivational energy to help you change your life. Allow that realization to become a moment of awakening. Truly seeing the situation you are in and having the clarity to decide to change it takes courage and determination. Allow your anger and frustration at your existing situation to be the catalyst that spurs you into taking action.

Seek Help From A Church

If you are at rock bottom and feel you have no-one to turn to, then remember that churches always have their doors open to anyone who might need them. Regardless of whether or not you attend church normally, or are even religious, churches have a range of services available to help people at all stages of their life overcome difficulty and hardship. In times of natural disasters, churches are very often some of the first to be on the ground, actively helping people, offering support and practical help. If you need help, reach out to your local church and let them know. If you aren’t a regular churchgoer, you can still reach out anyway. As well as offering practical help in times of need, churches can also help to guide you towards other sources of support if they are unable to offer to help themselves.

Assemble Support Services

In times of crisis, particularly if these are the result of a natural catastrophe, it is crucial to mobilize all the support services that you can. Seek out your local community groups that may be able to help bring relief to the victims of any disaster that may have happened. As well as churches, consider reaching out to any community groups, companies or professional groups who you think may be able to offer help. Consider whether there are any professionals or philanthropists who you may be able to inspire to offer help and support. Remember, help and aid comes in many forms. Although practical and financial help is crucial during such times, so is emotional and mental health support for all those who have been affected. Encourage the communities who have been affected to come together and support one another. Share knowledge, strategies and crucially, share crucial resources.

Get Hold Of Your Important Documents

It is vital that you are able to access your important documents at once in time of a crisis.

“No-one wants to think about a terrible disaster happening to them. But what can be even worse, even more devastating, is realizing that it has happened and you have lost access to all the important documents you may need,” says Billy Morales, a survival writer at Academicbrits. “Make sure that you keep all your important documents, especially all insurance details and documents, in one safe place. Consider keeping them all in a Grab-n-Go Binder. It’s also a good idea to have copies or to store another binder with a friend or family member that you trust. As soon as something happens, make sure that you get hold of your binder and start contacting the insurance companies straight away to maximize your chances of getting through to them before they become inundated with other people in the same desperate situation trying to make contact.”

Create A To-Do List

Keeping focused and combatting the urge to hide from the world can be tough. Instead, write a to-do list every day. This way, your day will have a purpose to it and you will be more motivated to get up and keep going than you might be otherwise. The list doesn’t have to be big and the tasks on it don’t need to be world-changing either. Write a list of all the things, however small, that you want to accomplish for that day. Depending on what stage of the process you’re at, it could be something as simple as, “go for a run” or it can be something more ambitious, such as “send 5 applications”. Think about setting yourself small, achievable goals for each day.

Kick Bad Habits

Difficult times can cause some people to turn to nasty and unhealthy habits for comfort. But this will only make the situation worse. If you are drinking, smoking or taking part in any other kind of addictive behavior, you need to make sure to stop it at once. Your situation will only get worse if you don’t. Consider the type of person you want to be. Indulging in poor, especially addictive, habits will not help your situation to become better and it will prevent you from achieving any sort of personal advancement.

Develop A Positive Mindset

The biggest enemy to our own self-improvement and self-development is quite often ourselves. Adjusting to a new situation, a new life and a completely new start will require you to think positively and be proactive in your outlook and approach to life. It takes time, practice and determination, but you need to start training yourself to think positively. Surround yourself with other positively-minded people who can be a good influence and support to you at this time. Push aside the negative thoughts of “I can’t” or “what if?” and replace them with positive messages and conviction. Each time a negative thought enters your mind, stop it in its tracks. Rephrase it into a positive thought instead, such as “I can” or “I will”. Thinking positively will help make the process easier and help you to develop a healthier mindset for the future.

Incorporate Positive Actions Into Your Daily Life

Think of the things that make you happy and try to find a way to incorporate more of them into your daily life. Think of concrete actions you can take, rather than abstract ideas. Start with small actions that will be easy to follow and implement. For example, you might want to spend more time with the people you love. Set aside some time, without the distractions of screens and outside interruptions to spend time together. It could be as simple as a weekly meal. Make sure that the actions you want to take are clear and that will make it easier for you to implement them and stick to it.

Time For A New You

If you have hit rock-bottom then it’s time to reinvent yourself.

“The version of yourself that you have constructed until now is no longer serving you well. In fact, it’s holding you back and preventing you from moving on and making necessary and important changes to your quality of life,” explains Rosalie Walker, an expert at Originwritings. “You have the opportunity now to reinvent yourself. Think about the type of person you would like to be. How does that person behave? How do they dress? How do they look? What are their principles and values? What can they achieve? Then slowly, start building the ‘new’ you, one step at a time.”

Help Others

It can be less intimidating to help others than it is to help ourselves. Yet, by helping others you are also helping yourself. It will help you to focus and enable you to escape from your own world and situation. Whilst offering help and support to others, you will also feel good about yourself. Try seeking out opportunities to help others, such as through local community groups. You can also look for small opportunities in everyday life, such as helping an elderly person with their shopping. Helping others will help you to gain a sense of purpose and you’ll be helping to make the world a better place.

Written by

Mildred Delgado is a responsible, up-and-coming marketing strategist, who works at PhDKingdom. She is dedicated and hardworking and has already assisted on a number of high-profile marketing campaigns. Mildred enjoys working closely with companies to develop and improve their marketing strategies and is a firm believer in the power of positive thinking and teamwork.

Latest comments
  • Hi, i appreciate the things you you have said in this article. After my family and i lost everything in a flood a year ago, i have found everything stated to be true. I’ll tell you that situations like this and after, bring out the real character of people and that losing everything is in a way like being reborn. It has been a hard road and our new situation is looking to be better than the last. There are a lot of things that are beyond our understanding and the great spirit knows more than we! Other than the emotional hurt the biggest problem i have experienced is wanting everything to be caught up and rebuilt now! Things like gardens and repairs, things that take years to build. That in my experience has been the hardest! Hopefully we all are on paths to green pastures.

  • Step 1 is nice, but what happens when you ask for help and no one answers. I’ve been good to people my whole life, but am now in crisis and no one, literally no one “wants to deal with it.” I am truly heartbroken and having trouble getting through the days and figuring out what to do with the rest of my time here on Earth. I used to be a positive person, but people are cruel to no end, and they broke me.

    • Same experience.

      To your point, after you wrote this, the comments stopped. No one is listening, not even the person who wrote this.

    • I know what you’re talking about “J”. I’ve spent most of my life trying to help others and the few times I’ve asked for help; everyone was either to busy for said they were unable. I still try to help though because I feel it the right thing to do. Do not be too discouraged, there is one you can ask that will not look the other way and I think you know who.
      With a brother’s love,
      PS: is there anything I can do from this end? I’ve already added you to my morning prayers.

    • J I am in the same boat and have been for several years now and struggle everyday to undersrand why. I have helped so many people with anything they needed at the time and freely without expectation of repayment. When I found myself in need of help they were all too busy or just completely turned away from me.
      It only destroyed me further and left me feeling completely alone. And thats where I still am today. Only more broken as those I did accept help from who I didnt know assaulted me, robbed me of the few things I did have left and stole my ability to trust others. Every day is painful and filled with hopelessness. Where I used to have dreams and hopes for the future, my only hope now is that I don’t have to endure it much longer.
      My heart is with you for what that’s worth.

      • Kristi – Although a year old (Sorry – I have just stumbled on this website) I am very sorry to read your post but find myself in a very similar situation: lost everything – house / possessions and most of my family and friends just dont want to know / too busy. I just wondered if you managed to get help and your situation improved? If so I wondered if there was any advice you could give me? It is a fact that people dont realise that sometimes suicide really is the easiest and most logical choice if no one cares.

    • J I understand I’m currently in the same boat. I keep praying that’s all I can do I have no support.

  • I know that feeling.
    I see that
    It people have own troubles.
    Sorting out there own life’s
    It hard to take on others troubles.
    So I just learned to listen.
    Soon you find it just as hard for people who would like help too.

  • i am about to lose everything i worked for in life if my business doesnt improve soon. probably just off myself if that happens nobody will reall care when i am gone.